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It’s Not Personal, It’s Pain

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If you’ve ever been slighted, betrayed, wronged or hurt by another, it helps to realize that it’s not personal.

I used to take other people’s dishonesty personally. Their slights and judgements; their rejection.

Until I realized that only pain can render pain. Only inadequacy can serve slights and cast judgements. Only dishonesty with oneself can lead to dishonesty and betrayal of others. And only the wounded heart can wound. 

Or the closed heart.

A Closed Heart

Perhaps it’s no accident that “wound” as in ‘wounded’ is the same spelling as the “wound” as in ‘wound around’. For hurts rendered arose from hurt and returns — comes back around — to hurt.

Perpetrators were often victims first. Victims who never healed or learned to move on. Victims who never learned to turn their personal pain into positive power.

When a heart is closed that means that no love can emanate or enter. What’s left is a festering of pain, hurt and sadness that turns to negativity, resentment, hatred and emptiness.

Sometimes the pain is self inflicted through constricting of our higher self and aspirations, which requires us to pull down the shades of our heart in order to live in the dark.

A closed heart is a more profound pain for it may never truly know love. And a life without love is unfathomable.
~LeAura Alderson, writer, editor, creator®

A closed heart quote, loveless quote,  #LoveQuote #PainQuote #HeartQuote #HurtQuote #iCreateDaily #Loveless #WithoutLove
Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

It’s a Human Experience

To experience pain, whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional, is a part of the human experience of life on earth. All humanity shares this part of life. No one can escape it. However, we can learn to elevate it.

“It’s what we do with the pain that makes all the difference in the quality of our lives.”
~LeAura Alderson, writer, editor, creator®

Better to Have Loved and Lost

The non-victim mentality is definitely in favor of better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Better to love and experience hurt than to be closed to the wonders of love.

So whenever we experience negativity from others directed our way, it is our karma to endure — because it is happening to us. But whatever the reason, we can know that it’s not personal, even when it appears so. It’s almost never truly personal.

Harm to another can only arise from a hurt or closed heart.
~LeAura Alderson, writer, editor, creator®

An Absence of Love

Any heart absent of love — closed off from that elixir of life itself — is ultimately, a heart in pain.

For malice and harm, dishonesty and cruelty can only exist where love is absent. Such a heart deserves our compassion, for only a hurt heart can hurt another.

To heal, we can experience the hurt, dive into the depths of despair and pain, empathize with others who experience such wrenching pain, and then rise up. If we dwell on what was done to us rather than understand, we continue to hurt, over and again, over and again, like reopening an old wound.

All Wounds Heal if We Let Them

We do not reopen physical wounds as they’re healing for we see them and understand that they need salve and protecting to heal, not continuous reopening through probing and examining. Now, we can learn to do that with emotional pains by focusing on who and how we want to be.

To steadily relive, recite and resent is to keep us in the past and extend the pain for years. If we don’t want to live a hurt and bitter life, for that to be who we are and how we go through life, we must forgive. Forgiveness opens the wounded heart to love and understanding.

Forgiveness and understanding isn’t the same as condoning, but it is essential for us to move on. We can realize that it’s not personal, even if an attack had our name on it, or the betrayer held maleintent. For the source of wrongdoing and evil is a heart absent of love, and such a heart needs our compassion, for only a hurt or closed heart void of love, can harm.

For evil is the absence of love.


So let us LOVE.






~LeAura Alderson,
writer, editor, creator®

What is evil? Evil could be summed up in these 6 words. "Evil is..." #QuoteOnEvil #QuoteonLove #LoveQuote #EvilQuote #iCreateDaily #GoodAndEvil
Image by ipicgr from Pixabay

Every Criticism

Every criticism, judgement, resentment and negativity is an absence of love. 

If it is emanating from us, we are depriving ourselves in that moment, of love. To send out negativity will return negativity back to us. According to spiritual and physical laws — karma / ‘as ye sow’ and the first law of thermodynamics  — what we put out there will return to us in kind.

Better to put love out there.

If the negativity is projected toward us, the one transmitting it is out of alignment with love and thus suffering on some level.

We can transform the impact upon ourselves and others by elevating that energy through understanding, empathy, forgiveness and compassion. We can understand that even when it seems personal, it isn’t, for again that negativity cannot be sent from where it doesn’t exist within. And where it resides within, is not a happy place.

Imagine the positive effect when we transmute a negative to a positive…?

Our true self is Love, so when we’re “out of love”, we’re out of self… out of alignment with Who we really are.

Each schism out of alignment with Love is there to inform us and remind us to return to Love… return to Love… return to Love.

For that is who you really are. A return to Love is a return to You… to that eternal flame of divinity that is YOU.

Sending You Much Love.

Winged-Heart-Art-by artist-Robert-Donaghey
Winged Heart Art by artist, Robert Donaghey

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